By Stephen Propst
Living with bipolar is extraordinarily challenging—but you don’t have to go it alone. When times seem too tough to bear, reach out and ask for help.
Living with bipolar can be extraordinarily challenging. Sometimes merely surviving feels overwhelming. I still face periods when I feel like I lack the wherewithal to keep going. Perhaps you can relate.
During such times, I ask myself: How can I keep fighting?
The answer is: Not alone! Let’s look at four situations where seeking help makes sense — or is perhaps imperative.
When You Really Don’t Need Help
When life is full of the ups and downs of bipolar, you’re especially grateful for the stable times. You can do things you find enjoyable, or you can just relax and appreciate a change for the better. Such times afford us a golden opportunity: when you don’t need help is a perfect time to plan for when you will!
Take time to discuss your needs with friends and family. Let folks who care know what signals a (sometimes silent) cry for help. Decide what thresholds — from “x” days of isolation to “x” dollars of reckless spending — signify warning signs.
Make sure others are familiar with how to help and that they know the names of your preferred doctor, therapist, and (if needed) inpatient facility.
When You Think You Might Need Help
Sometimes, particularly in the beginning stages of a depressive or manic episode, you may sense that you need help or will soon. Why not take advantage of such a chance? Doing so can help minimize the depths of a downswing or the heights of an upswing.
Early on, I didn’t always recognize impending episodes. (Even today, I sometimes don’t!) But when I sense certain changes — like disturbed or excessive sleep, diminished or endless energy, reduced or increased appetite — I’ve learned to seek help sooner rather than later. I simply prefer to stay well and out of the hospital.
When You Would Accept Help If Offered
When you find yourself in the middle of major mania, reaching out to others doesn’t always come to mind.
If you’re down in the dumps, you may not realize that you need help or have the energy to ask for anything.
Neither a manic nor a depressed mind always operates rationally and reasonably.
During such times, try to rely on the plan you’ve (hopefully) already put into place. Do you just need a little support, or do you need more immediate, professional help? If you’ve decided ahead of time how and when others should intervene, everyone can respond accordingly and remain calm during a challenging cycle.
When Everyone But You Knows You Need Help
The good news is, the more we concentrate on the first three situations, the less likely it is that we’ll face this one. The goal is doing what’s in everyone’s best interest. But when a person living with bipolar is an immediate threat to him/herself or to others, then loved ones, treating professionals, or even the law must take action on his/her behalf.
There is no shame in having a justifiable intervention take place. In my case, such occasions — from an employer calling in a psychiatrist at work to a police officer taking me to jail — have afforded me valuable, albeit difficult, lessons.
When it comes to seeking help, there are some important considerations: Who is best equipped to help —professionals, peers, family/friends — depends on the circumstances. The type of help you need — financial, physical, emotional, vocational, spiritual — varies, too.
I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s preferable to proactively make these decisions on your own terms, rather than having others reactively make them for you.
Accepting bipolar as a genuine, treatable condition is key to recovery. It’s also essential to recognize those times that call for a helping hand. Never hesitate to acknowledge when you can’t go it alone; that’s when it’s time to say, “Help!”
Used by permission.