By Stephen Propst
We all know how our anxiety can create endless questions we think we don’t have answers to, but we have them!
In the support groups I facilitate, “questionable” statements are often made. Asking appropriate questions helps elaborate upon what was said. The process can be educational, empowering, and enlightening. Here’s a typical scenario:
Attendee: I’ve been feeling suicidal lately.
Facilitator: I want to better understand what you’re saying. Are you thinking about taking your life?
Attendee: Oh, no. I’ve just been feeling more down recently. [The original statement is clarified.]
Facilitator: Can you give us an idea what’s been going on?
Attendee: Well, I’ve been tired and apathetic, and I’ve been isolating myself more of late. [A specific issue is now identified.]
Facilitator: Well, those are known characteristics of depression. Would it help if we talked about ways to cope with the depressive phase of bipolar, including when to contact your doctor or therapist?
Attendee: Sure, that would definitely help. [The focus moves from stating a problem to seeking a solution.]
Facilitator: OK, let’s see what others might have to share.
In dealing with bipolar disorder for more than 25 years, I have found that questioning what I think, say, and do is critical. Posing questions can really pay off when it comes to:
Your thinking: Is it rational or irrational?
Your attitude: Is it positive or negative?
Your behavior: Is it appropriate or inappropriate?
Your decisions: Are they reasoned or reckless?
Your recovery: Is it on track or off course?
Asking such questions, rather than acting impulsively, can make a life-changing difference; for example, in whether or not you keep a job, maintain a friendship, or stay out of jail.
Here are some pivotal questions for folks living with bipolar to ask themselves:
Have I fully accepted my diagnosis, or am I still pretending that nothing is wrong?
Do I really want to get better, or have I resigned myself to being disabled?
Am I championing my own recovery, or have I abdicated responsibility for that to others?
Am I seeking out and surrounding myself with necessary support and wellness resources, or have I given up thinking that there is anything I can do to improve my situation?
Do I define myself by my illness, or do I see it as something I can manage while I live my life?
The questioning process works well for family and friends, too:
Am I focusing on my loved one and his/her ability to get better, or on an illness and a future of doom and gloom?
Am I offering the kind of support that really helps, or am I actually “enabling” [to use a pop psychology term] my loved one’s situation?
Am I taking care of myself, or am I at risk of becoming ill, too?
Am I taking time to get educated about bipolar disorder, or am I falling prey to myths and misperceptions?
Do I mainly listen attentively and offer reasonable feedback, or do I primarily talk and offer unsolicited advice?
Asking questions also makes sense for mental health professionals:
How do you define recovery?
What is your role in your patients’ recovery?
What are the chances for recovery?
Do you want to see your own recovery really gain momentum? Do you want to offer constructive support for someone you love? Do you want the patients under your medical care to regain productive lives?
When it comes to successfully managing bipolar disorder, the answer is to question.
Used by permission.